Dr. visit went well...thanks for praying!!!! She upt my muscle relaxer a bit...it will proly take like 6 weeks till I'm on full dosage and will proly make me a bit more tired and ya may as well admit it...a lil more moody too!:( o well if it helps than I sure don't want to complain!:)

Please pray...... I have plans to go to Geisinger again tomorrow for a check-up. I have mixed feelings about it but trust God's hand will be in the outcome no matter what!

God does not promise to supply every want, only our needs. But He loves to surprise His children, too!!!!:)

Thinking over the past week I can think of a few surprises God sent my way!!!! I like to think of them as 'miracle moments!:) Tuesday morning as I was getting ready for school, it just felt like the devil was trying to discourage me!!!! I knew there was no way I was going to be able to go to school feeling that way! I prayed but it just seemed he was really hard up :(!!!! We were having PTF that evening and the teachers were all supposed to give a small speech. I was allowed to stay sitting since it would have been a bit hard for me stand. I do not particularly enjoy talking in front of crowds......so I texd a bunch of my friends and just asked them to pray!!!! Wow!!!! I was hardly finished sending the message, when I felt God's peace wrap around my heart, almost sent the chills up my back!!!! NEVER underestimate the POWER OF PRAYER!!!!! The second surprise or 'miracle moment' was Wednesday afternoon...I walked over to my co-teachers desk for something and it felt like I was WALKING PERFECTLY NORMAL, my neck didn't have the pull it usually does!!!! Yesterday it was so pretty outside so I thought I would go out and enjoy some time 'out of doors'. We have a basket ball hoop behind the house. I don't know much about basket ball, but enjoy trying to get the ball thru the hoop. I hadn't tried it for a while but the last time I tried I could barely throw the ball above my head since the mono had some weird effect on some of the muscles in my left arm. My hand cordination was pretty bad too!!! Wellll....I went out and surprised myself.... ;)I was actually able to get the ball thru the hoop!!!! Thank-you God for surprises (miracle moments):)!!!!

Today we had communion. George had a very thought-provoking message!!!! Wow my Jesus suffered so much pain and agony for ME!!!! Imagine being beaton till your back was raw, Imagine having a crown of thorns placed on your head, Imagine being mocked and scorned, Imagine having people spit right in your face, Imagine how it must have hurt to have nails pounded into your hands and feet, worst of all.....imagine God turning His back to you when it seemed you needed Him most!!! Yes, MY Jesus did this all for me, not because He had to, but because He loved me so much. He loves you too! It brings tears to my eyes when I think of all He suffered so I can be His child and enjoy the beauty of Heaven!!!!! It makes my suffering seem so much smaller! Jesus would have all the right to look down, and heartlessly say.." You think you sufferd a lot? You think what you are going thru is painful? LOOK, read in your Bible, see all I have gone thru so you can have eternal life! Come-on toughen up, you really have no idea what pain and suffering is!!!!! INSTEAD...... His heart aches to see His daughter suffer, He sees my tears and He cries with me, He heard each one of my cries for help when it felt like it was just too much, the pain too great, the future looked so dark and it seemed all I could see was dark storm clouds, it was then that He lovingly reached down, picked me up and carried me thru the storm!!!! He will do the same for you if you allow Him to!!!:) That is how much He cares about each one of His children!!!! Are you facing a storm in your life, does it feel like God doesn't care about your fears, do you lay awake in your bed at night crying till your pillow is wet, my friend turn to your Heavenly Father, give Him all your burdens, He never intended for you to carry them, He is waiting with open arms, won't you please run to Him, allow Him to embrace you, hold you tight. He knows what you're going thru, He knows what you are feeling, He knows what you need, He wants all your burdens!!! He loves when His children talk to Him, even if He allready knows everything, go ahead, tell Him all your fears, tell Him what you are feeling. We serve a God who loves to have an intimate relationship with each of His children. The next time you are tempted to do something you know is wrong, turn around, God is standing open armed, run to Him and allow Him fight the battle for you!!!!:)

May God bless you this week as you trust Him, it's NOT always easy, sometimes you may wonder if He really knows what He is doing, but trust Him, He sees the whole picture, we don't!!!!

Thanks everyone for praying!!!! :) The rest of the week did go better!!! I didn't get as much sleep as I would have wanted but that's just life!!! Last evening we had volley ball planned with the youth from Pleasant View (Bellville). I didn't sleep the best Thursday night so I was tired and when I'm tired....well lets just say I'm not always in the best mood. I really wanted to go since I missed the other youth activities this week. So tired or not I got myself ready and went. Lets just say when I walked into the gym I was not feeling very sociable and to make things worse, there were a bunch of people there that I did not know.......I didn't like it, it pulled me out of my comfort zone!=( At first I just wanted to curl up in a little corner and pity myself, but I realized that doing that would be no good and it never hurts anyone to get out of there comfort zone!!! Till it all ended I was really glad I went and truthfully did enjoy the evening!!!!

I want to say a special thanks for all the birthday wishes!!!! I am so thankful for ALL the great friends God has bleesed me with, wow can't imagine life without friends!!!!

I would like to share a verse I read in my personal devotions this week...
~Who amoung you fears the Lord? Who fears His Servant? Who walks in darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely upon his God. *Isaiah 50:10-The comment that went with the verse really stuck out to me.....~Dark times come upon all of us; thats part of life in a fallen world. But we do not have to grope blindly as those without hope. We trust God in the dark, take His hand, and go where He leads.

I know I updated not long ago but I just feel the need to ask you all to pray!!!!! It just feels like the devil is trying to steal my peace and joy. I was looking at pictures that were taken before I got sick and it just hit me really hard how different life is. My heart just aches to be normal again. I KNOW God has a reason for this and I KNOW He is right beside me, crying with me, holding me close, He loves me much much more than anyone human ever can. His heart aches with mine, and He knows just what me as His daughter can handle and He has promised never to give me more than I can handle. I just want to rest in His arms and give Him ALL my doubts and fears. He never intended for me to carry these heavy burdens, He knows my shoulders are not strong enough, please pray that I would be able to give it all to Him and rest assured that His plan for my life is far better than anything I can ever imagine!!!!

Wellll...... I have some exciting news!!!!!! I got to test my driving skills this week with my dad as the 'police'!!!! =) Thankfully he didn't require the parallel parking deal!=)=) Believe it or not I PASSED!!!!!! I may now put my license to use again....YEAHHHHH!!!! I will add that at this point it's pretty much just to school and back, but that's really all I wanted for right now.

Progress seems to continue, sometimes seems so slow it's hard to see. I am still getting muscle therapy (treatments), whatever you want to call it. This past week she worked a lot on my neck and jaw muscles, wow just reminded me again how fearfully and wonderfully our bodies are made. She found some really nasty knots in the side of my neck..... whew, I'll just say it didn't feel too good and hopefully they stay away!!!! It seems the dystonia has a mind of it's own and just is not willing to allow my muscles to relax and be normal yet. Right now I think about it most in the back of my neck, it just wants to pull it back, which is a little unhandy because you can't do a whole lot staring up at the ceiling! It's like my doctor told me, dystonia is STRONG!!!!! Which means that when it gets a hold of a muscle it pulls hard, so hard that no matter how hard I fight I have very little control. I do have a couple neck pillows that I use for support, and it does help if I put pressure on the back of my head with my hand. I'm ok if I have something hard to rest my head against because it gives it support. There are stretches I can do that help release the tension a little. However, thankfully my therapist is able to treat it or at least work with it, but it takes more than one or two treatments to get it back to normal.

I am SO thankful for the many wonderful people God has placed in my life!!!!! Words cannot say how much it means to me when people treat me like a normal person even when I don't look normal!!!! It's always scary to go places or see people that haven't seen me since I got sick, but it's good for me to get out of my comfort zone even if it's scary!!!!

Here are the words to a song I listened to this week......

(v1)Here I am before you Lord, falling at your feet
My longing is to know you more, your purpose to complete,
When I look around me it's so hard to understand,
I want to see you move Lord, I want to see your hand

chorus
Trusting you Lord does not come easily to me
Trusting you Lord I need your eyes that I might see
When the way is dark and I'm afraid and don't know what to do
help me take my eyes off me Lord and keep my eyes on you


(v2)I stand upon your promise Lord you have a plan for me
And though I may not see it yet I'll trust you faithfully
You have spoken to my heart a message strong and true
So I'll gather up my courage Lord and humbly follow you